Since the start of the Spring season, I have been getting emails from women that read something like this:
My husband/boyfriend is a cyclist and he wants me to get a bike so that we can ride together. I am not very good at cycling, or sports in general. What bike do you recommend? My husband/boyfriend sent me a link to your blog and said that you would know.
Nice. Notice that the phrasing is not "I would like to get a bicycle so that I can accompany my husband/boyfriend on rides," but that the desire and intent are attributed entirely to him. This is something he has probably been convincing her to do for a while, and finally he sent her to my website, as if to say "See? Other women can do it!" (Great way to make her hate me, fellows!)
Of course if he does succeed in convincing her to buy a bike and join him, I can already see how that will go. He: the man dressed like a professional racer on a $2,500 road bike. She: the woman in ill-fitting bike shorts, cotton tank-top and sneakers, on a $600 hybrid. He: stern and professorial, explaining the importance of proper cadence and posture in a tireless monologue. She: red in the face and panting, sneaking longing glances at the families picnicking on the grass. Eventually it ends in bickering and tears - or worse, a fall. I see this on the local trails all the time. Please, don't be that couple.
If you are a cyclist and want to share your favourite pastime with your spouse, that's fantastic. But please understand that in order for someone to enjoy cycling as much as you do, the interest must come from within - and that you are essentially killing any chance of that happening by pushing too strongly or making the person's first cycling experience too difficult and stressful.
So what should you do instead? Well, for starters don't try to be your spouse's teacher or mentor. Unless she has absolutely never pedaled a bike before, there is no need to "instruct" her, as tempting as that may be. Even if you think she is "doing it wrong", leave it. She did not sign up for a bicycle course; she just wants to have fun with you out in nature. Give her that, and she will associate cycling with the nice time she had - and therefore will want to do it again.
Also, even if you have been cycling since age 5 and can compete in timed half-centuries in your sleep, consider downplaying your prowess and adapting a "leisure cycle" mode. Don't kit up. If you have an old beater bike, ride that when you are together instead of your super-fast roadbike. I would even go so far as to suggest buying an old vintage upright-ish bike for yourself, to match the level of the bike your spouse will be riding. This will even out the playing field between the two of you and will make you less intimidating. In general, I think that getting your spouse to cycle is not about what she should do to keep up with you, but about what you should do to make her comfortable with her current level of skill. If it's going to work, that's the only way. Only if she enjoys cycling, will she become motivated to improve her skills, and perhaps will even start asking you for advice - giving you plenty of opportunity to play "coach" when the time comes for it. But that initial enjoyment is key, and it is up to you to set things up in a way to make it happen. Think about it from that perspective, start slow, let her figure things out for herself... And perhaps before you know it, your special lady might delight you by becoming a bona fide obsessed cyclist, entirely on her own accord. She may even start a blog.
The scene we awoke to on Tuesday morning.
It was pretty, but we really could have done without it! I guess Mother Nature just wanted us to be able to experience all facets of the Grand Canyon.
Fog! Filling the Canyon! Yes, snow, we had expected. But fog? One amongst our party, who shall remain nameless (not me), wasn't sure that we should continue. It would be too slippery. We couldn't see. But the other two of us took the positive attitude (or perhaps, were a little crazy) “It will get better. The fog will go away. The snow won't be very far down.” On we went. This picture was taken at 8:42 a.m. just beyond the first turn into the canyon.
Sue and Fred at the first tunnel, just .18 miles from the rim and ten minutes into the hike. The tunnel is visible in the previous photo. It was slow going. It was slippery. We took our time. Others had gone down that path before us, so it had to be okay, right?
The view of the rim from the trail, 20 minutes into the hike.
One of the worst patches of the trail, about 30 minutes into the hike. Beneath that fresh layer of snow was a very thick layer of slippery ice. This section of the trail gets little, if any, sun.
When I was a child my mom always wanted to know what kind of bird it was that made a noise that, to her, sounded as if it was saying 'come here, come here'. Since she thought it sounded like it was saying that I have always thought so, too. We could always hear the bird but could never get a good look at one. Usually we only hear this bird when we would go camping, or hiking in the mountains or desert. Since we have moved to the Tumbleweed Crossing I have discovered what the bird is. It is the Ash-throated Flycatcher. There are lots of different flycatcher birds all over the world and several different kinds in the US. All are similar and I didn't know what the proper name for our kind of flycatcher was until recently when I finally found it on the internet. These interesting little birds are kind-of built like a swallow only larger. They are mostly grayish on back, wings, head, and tail, but have a dull yellowish color to their belly area. Males and females look alike. They disappear in the fall and winter. I assume they migrate south probably to somewhere in Mexico. But the come here to nest. I usually have one or two pairs near my house each summer. They usually build their nests in a cholla cactus just on the edge of our property but this year they built in a cottonwood tree next to the horse pens, and hay shed. Every time I walk by it they fly off yelling 'come here, come here'. But return quickly and watch what I am doing as I feed, water, or pet horses. I had seen the nest before I knew which bird was using it. I had thought it might be an English sparrow nest as it had so many pieces of string, paper, tumbleweed sticks, and a piece of cloth in it. It was a couple of days before I actually saw a flycatcher on it which can't be seen in the photo of the nest. I welcome all flycatchers as they eat lots and lots and lots of flying insects especially flies which is where they get their name. I have seen them perched on a tree or power line and suddenly fly down to scoop up an unseen insect and then back to their perch they go. They will do this over and over. They come in to the water I keep in hubcaps in the back yard each evening.
The Point Mugu Rock, seen from the south, with Highway 1 passing through the opening.
And from a distance, along the shore.
